Coach Patti's Blog

You have to prime the pump before you can drink from the fountain.

Referrals. They are the lifeblood of every successful business. We want them, we value them, we are grateful for them. When referrals start flowing into our business, we know we are doing things right.

But they don't start flowing by themselves. A pump needs to be primed to work properly, and you need to prime your referrals fountain to start that flow that brings with it your most valuable kind of business. People want to refer friends and advisors they trust. Your goal is to create relationships with a large network of people that know what you do, and who like and trust you. An important part of building that trust is consistent follow up to stay on top of people's minds so that they remember you always.

How do you build trust? Obviously, you do it over time, by building relationships, and by showing that you are both caring and trustworthy. When you help people this way, you are absolutely not selling – you are making deposits into their emotional bank accounts. As the balance grows, so does your standing. It's not difficult to do; you simply need to be thinking of what you can do to help someone, how you can act as a connector within your network.

For instance, you might invite two people to lunch from your network that might be able to support each other. At first they may expect you to solicit them for business, but you will tell them that they have been invited to connect with each other and to perhaps help each other. Or perhaps there is a family that needs baby sitting, and you know another family with a teenager who is an experienced sitter. That would be a great connection for both of them. You should have lunch with a prospective referral source once a month with the intention of supporting their business. One good guideline is: Never eat alone, and for heaven's sake don't eat with another Real Estate Sales Associate!

Here's an example from my life. Our accountant knew my husband and I were looking for a different financial advisor. He invited us to play golf with him and a financial advisor from his network he thought would fit our needs. This way, he gave us an opportunity to see if we liked the adviser without having the pressure of actually interviewing him. If we liked him we could go to the next step, and if we didn't then doing business was a moot point.

To keep in touch, and at the top of people's minds, mail greeting cards and personal notes. Consider Joe Girard who has been in the Guinness book of records for 12 consecutive years as the world's greatest sales person. He sold 6 to 7 cars daily, all at retail, all by referral. He built this success partly by sending out personal notes. I heard it was 14,000 handwritten notes or greeting cards a month! You don't have to try to match Joe Girard, but you can keep track of two dates: a person's birthday and the anniversary date of when they purchased their home. Then send an appropriate card (not boring!) or note with a personal message.

It sounds straightforward, doesn't it? And yet many people don't practice these simple techniques. In some cases, fear of rejection and fear of doing something new can keep someone from making that call, asking someone to lunch, or offering help. Sometimes it's a matter of time – they feel overwhelmed with too much to do and just never get around to making the call. Whatever the reason, I've found that there are things you can do to get beyond the barriers.

• Once you recognize the value of making those deposits in others' emotional bank accounts, you can start by making your own list of things you can do.
• Make sure your list is broken down into small steps that you can see yourself achieving quickly and easily, just so long as every step takes you closer to that goal.
• Create realistic short and long-term milestones for yourself.
• If you are feeling overwhelmed, delegate or outsource whatever you can that will free up the time for what you do best. Focus on building your network and making connections; let someone else open the mail and keep the books.
• And always remember to recognize and appreciate people when they give you a referral.

Over the years, I've learned these and other simple elements of building a successful referral business, so that now almost all my business comes through word of mouth. One of the best parts of this is the rewards that have nothing to do with money; when you deposit in someone else's emotional bank account, you increase your own at the same time.

Coach Patti

Patti Kouri, Accelerated Performance Coaching
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